


People Talk

by SomethingWitty



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, McCoy/Kirk Bromance, You know what they say about assumptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingWitty/pseuds/SomethingWitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the STID kink meme prompt: "I love Bones with every bone in my body, but I definitely don't put a bone IN his body. That'd be like doing my brother."</p><p> </p><p>Everyone on the ship knows the Captain and the CMO are doing the dirty behind closed doors. It's common knowledge.</p><p>Or, a story in which McCoy wants Carol, Carol wants McCoy, but Carol (and the rest of the Enterprise) thinks McCoy and Kirk are screwing like rabbits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People Talk

**Author's Note:**

> This came from the kink meme. The prompt caught my eye because as much as I love McKirk romance, I equally love McKirk Bromance. And, in my head, if McCoy isn't going to get with Kirk, then the next best choice is Carol. Couldn't resist throwing in a Supernatural quote, either.

Science Officer Carol Marcus sat cross-legged at her usual table in the mess hall, eyes roaming over the crowd surrounding her as she picked at the brussels sprouts and rye bread on her plate. Across the table from her, two Ensigns from the Science Department were quibbling back and forth about the correct adjustments that would need to be made to the wetsuits for the semi-acidic waters of Mu Gamma. Carol had her own opinion on the necessary alterations, but was enjoying watching Ensigns Harris and Petrovich try to hash it out amongst themselves. At the table to her left, Nyota and Darwin were conversing quietly, their soft tones punctuated now and then by Darwin’s whooping laugh. Four rows away Hikaru, Hackney, and Scott were sitting with their heads all leaning in towards each other in a conspiratory manner, Scott’s arms flying wildly as he excitedly talked while Hikaru and Hackney looked at him like he was their Lord-in-Mischief.

And of course, seated at the next table over were Spock, Leonard, and Jim. Jim made some statement Carol couldn’t hear. Spock voiced a reply with his typical flat and serene expression, which caused Leonard to voice a rebuttal, his fork with one brussels sprout impaled on it jabbing at the air in Spock’s direction. Spock’s eyebrow lifted as he answered Leonard, who huffed back at whatever Spock had said. Jim sat next to Leonard, entirely too pleased with himself as he watched the scene unfold before him like some kind of Puppetmaster. His face pulled into a smile, the skin around his eyes crinkling. He reached out a hand to pat Leonard’s shoulder, grabbing his tray and rising from his chair as he addressed his two fellow crewmates before turning to put his tray in the return area. The look on Leonard’s face as he watched the Captain leave, that small little smile, made Carol’s own lips smile reflexively. Leonard was a good man, kind-hearted and strong, but he was also a very taken man. Everyone aboard the Enterprise knew that there was something going on between the Captain and the CMO ("Oh those two? Totally banging eachother's brains out. I saw 'em both come out of sickbay one day looking pretty roughed up, if you get my drift"). It was practically the worst kept secret in Starfleet besides Nyota and Spock’s relationship ("I heard from Ensign Janko that Lieuteant Klandoon saw the Captain and McCoy cuddling on move night"). Truly, Carol had even heard rumors of a betting pool going on in the engineering department for when Kirk and McCoy would finally just start going at each other on the bridge. She may or may not have heard this from Scott himself, who may or may not be the one running the pool. Carol watched Leonard for just a second more before his eyes came to meet hers across the room, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a soft smile as he nodded respectfully at her. She smiled back and quickly looked down at her plate to hide the flush coloring her cheeks.

In the six months that Carol had been aboard the Enterprise during its unprecedented five-year mission, she had been surprised again and again by the quality of the crew, both professionally and personally. In some of her darker moments in the days and weeks following the disaster caused by her Father, Khan, and the USS Vengeance, Carol had found herself hating the idea of going back into Space, detesting the idea of continuing to develop weapons, and nauseous at the thought of what the Enterprise's Crew must think of her. She had attempted to visit Captain Kirk once while he was in a coma in Starfleet Medical, too weighed down by guild to realize the futility in apologizing to a comatose man. She had steeled herself before she entered, breathing deep and calm to control the shaking in her hands and knees. She didn't even make it past the door's threshhold before she took in the sight of Jim hooked to a half-dozen whirring machines, pale and thinner than she had last seen him. A dark head of hair was hunched in a chair and resting face-down on the side of Jim's biobed, one white-sleeved hand clutching Jim's arm at the wrist. When she realized what she was seeing, and what it meant for the two men, Carol felt her chest grow heavy and gave up trying to control her shaking body.

It made so much sense in retrospect, of course. The closeness of the two men, Leonard's fond exasperation and loyalty, Jim's wild-eyed look after she and Leonard had returned from opening up the missile, and of course Leonard's sleepless and dogged determination to save Jim even at the cost of his own health.

On her short time aboard the Enterprise, she had gravitated towards Leonard, drawn in by his intelligence and dry wit. She hadn't known that he was already spoken for, but she should've realized. She couldn't bear to wake Leonard up, to see the expression on his face when he realized the daughter of the Admiral who'd tried to sabotage and kill the man he loved was in the same hospital room. It didn't even take her one minute to debate it before she turned on her heel and left the room like the bloody coward she was. Other than that one incident, Carol had no communication with the rest of the Crew besides the mandatory depositions and legal statements.

It was Pavel who, weeks later, approached her cautiously and asked in an accented voice, "Vould you like to join ze crew for a party at Hannigan's on Friday? Ve are celebrating ze Keptin being released from Hospital. All of ze senior crew would wery much like you to join."

She was tempted to turn him down, but Pavel's cheery brightness and timid smile broke through the dark clouds that had loomed over her mood for the last month. She joined the crew for dinner and drinks that night, and each of them told her emphatically that they didn’t blame her one iota, and Jim had even gone so far as to offer her a position in the Science Department.

Carol meant what she told Jim that day on the bridge when the Enterprise began its new mission, when she told him that was nice to finally have a family. Jim, especially, had been so kind to her over the past months, going far out of his way to make her comfortable and integrated into the Crew. Leonard was a lovely man, as well. He and She had been working shoulder-to-shoulder on several projects that merged medical science and alien biology. Even though her PhD was in weaponry, she had a solid base in the biological sciences.

Being in such close quarters with Leonard also gave her a front row seat to the fondness between the Captain and CMO. Jim would make some inane comment, Leonard would scoff at it, Jim would make an even more bizarre comment while not-so-subtly insulting Leonard’s manhood, and Leonard would bristle like an angry porcupine while Jim cackled. Though there was clearly much affection between the two of them. Carol had to give them credit for not once being inappropriate in public, they must have kept the public displays of affection to a minimum. Much like Spock and Nyota, a relationship between officers was one that was best kept private. She still found herself wondering though, as she sat watching Leonard work on his notes, what it must be like to hold those large hands of his. He had long fingers and broad palms, totally steady, just as Jim had said (Carol supposed that Jim would know, out of anyone). She watched the tendons of his wrists move as he shuffled his PADDS. The way his fingers curled over the edge of the folder he was holding, so precise, and she could see the callouses on the pads of his fingers, the sign of a man who was skilled and experienced with his hands.

“Hey Bones! Hey Carol!”

Carol snapped back into reality.

Oh goodness.

Leonard gave a sharp sigh as he set down the PADD and stared up at Jim like he could barely muster up the will to tolerate him at that moment.

“Do ya not see that I’m working on something important, you pest?” Leonard drawled out.

That drawl should be criminal, Carol thought to herself.

“Hey man, you told me that you’d be free at 1800 hours. It is now 1815, and you, my friend, have a date with a bottle of your favorite bourbon waiting back in my quarters. Just got it from Spacedock.” Jim smirked at him.

Carol found herself wondering what other entertainment besides the bourbon was going to be waiting in Jim’s quarters before blushing at her own thoughts and trying to avoid looking Jim in the eye. Leonard, however, was looking at her, even as he spoke to Jim.

“Kid, why don’t you give me another half hour? These calculations are taking longer than I anticipated.”

The Captain’s shoulders tensed up almost imperceptibly.

“Bones, it’s a whole bottle of bourbon. You have tomorrow off. Real Earth bourbon. All yours, drinky-drinky,” Jim said as he mimicked throwing back a shot glass.

Leonard gave him a withering stare. “I am busy. You’d be busy, too, if you’d do that damn paperwork I sent you about last month’s ship physicals, or do I need to remind your First Officer about it? Don’t try to lure me into your black hole of procrastination with the promise of booze.”

The threat of Spock must have worked. Jim’s gaze shifted from Leonard to Carol and then back again, before he rolled his eyes and huffed out a “Fine, whatever,” as he turned and left the room.

Bloody hell, Jim was jealous of her.

Leonard turned back to face Carol and shook his head in frustration, reorganizing his PADDs and scooting his chair closer to Carol’s. “What do you say we get to work?”

Carol turned her face to the table to hide her blush. She’d never in her entire life been 'the other woman' and she had no intention of starting now. Leonard clearly had no interest in her, but did Jim know that? She had to set this right between the two men before it became something more serious than a little spat.

The next day she waited until the Captain had finished his shift and then used the ship’s computer to locate him in Rec Room 3. She entered the room with a peace offering (A lemon poundcake, which was a favorite of Jim’s, as per Nyota). The Captain was alone ifn the room, sitting in a large cushioned chair reading from an actual bound paper book, which Carol found remarkably endearing. He didn’t look particularly sad or put-out, so maybe he and Leonard had managed to make up in the meantime. In fact, when he spotted her, his entire body seemed to perk up.

Good, Carol thought, at least he isn’t angry with me.

“What can I help you with, Doctor Marcus?” Jim offered in a friendly tone, quickly marking the page in his book.

“Captain,” Carol said as she laid down the poundcake peace offering onto the small table next to him. “I want to apologize for distracting Doctor McCoy last night. I wasn’t aware that you two had, err, plans. We truly were working on something very important to the mission on Mu Gamma.”

Jim kept smiling, but something in his eyes was more calculated. “Don’t worry about it, Doctor. I believe you and Bones if you both say it was important.”

Oh no, he still suspected her. Time to just dive in and drop the subtleties.

“Captain, I want to assure you that the relationship between Doctor McCoy and I is purely professional. I can promise that there is nothing going on. I wouldn’t do that to someone.”

Jim’s eyes never lost that calculating look, like he was trying to figure something out. “So, you wouldn’t chase after Bones because you've been looking elsewhere, yeah?"

Carol cocked her head, "I don't believe I understand your point."

Jim gave a nonchalant tip of his head, "Just saying that maybe you're telling me you want to look in another direction. Maybe the one right in front of you."

"Captain," Carol took a moment to measure her words, "Surely you don't mean yourself?"

Jim smiled at her, "Are you telling me that you really haven't thought about it?"

No, there was no way that the Captain was trying to pick her up. He'd matured, he was a damn good Captain and, Carol had thought, a damn good person.

She felt like a stone had sunk to the bottom of her stomach, "But what about Doctor McCoy?"

Jim shrugged one shoulder like it was a non-issue, "Oh come on, Bones doesn't have to know. It's not like it's his business anyway."

Captain Kirk was a cheating tart. It was so disappointing to realize all the stories she'd heard about Kirk were apparently true. This bastard, who would try and cheat on a good soul like McCoy - Oh, Carol could just slap the man silly if it wouldn't get her court-martialed.

"I won't be involved in this, Captain!" She put her foot down, and that got his attention.

He quickly took a big step back with his hands raised, "Woah, woah, Ok. Sorry, Doctor Marcus, I just thought you meant - nevermind, ok. You say 'No.' Message received."

Neither of them heard the woosh of the Rec Room door opening.

Jim had dropped his flirty facade and was serious now, but Carol couldn't let him go that easily. "Captain, you just propositioned me in the bloody recreation room while Doctor McCoy is not even two decks down from us. You have the gall, the nerve, to do that to him?"

The Captain looked at her with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Jim. _What the fuck_.” Leonard’s voice was as tense as taut wire as he glared coldly at the other man from the doorway he was standing in.

“Hey Bones! What brings you to our lovely neck of the woods?” Jim answered in a falsely cheerful voice, totally aware of the tension running through Leonard’s body.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Jim? I thought we had a _deal_ , you prick.”

Jim smirked at Leonard’s ire, which only caused the Doctor to become even redder in the face. My lord, was that a forehead vein popping out?

“You two, just listen!” Carol said as she stepped between the two of them so that they had to look at her. “Doctor McCoy, I came here to explain to Jim that what he saw last night was nothing inappropriate, that there is nothing going on with us.” Leonard seemed to deflate a little at this statement. Carol pushed her confusion out of the way and kept talking lest she lose her nerve. “And of course, Doctor, you know that I would never try to pull the Captain away from you. I would not do something so foul as trying to break up the two of you, you must believe me.”

Slowly, the mood of the room changed. Jim’s chagrined frown pinched into something more like a frown of confusion. Leonard’s expression was nearly a mirror of Jim’s. Two confused faces stared back her.

“What do you mean, ‘break up’ the two of us?” Leonard asked softly, even though realization was dawning over his face.

Jim, too, seemed to reach whatever conclusion Leonard did.

Now Carol was the one who was confused. “Well, the two of you are involved, of course. You needn't hide it anymore. Everyone on the ship knows, though I do admire your professionalism with keeping it private.”

Leonard's eyes widened and his head slowly turned right to Jim's direction. Jim sharply looked to the left at Leonard.

Pause.

Carol immediately realized her mistake, "I just thought, oh hell - You two are so close, you understand? Closer than any friends I've ever seen. And Doctor McCoy, you're always in his quarters and always so concerned for him. And Captain, you're always flirting with him and you haven't even been with anyone - no diplomats, nobility, no one! Everyone says..." Carol stopped herself and brought a palm to her forehead and ran in down her face, "Well I do think I've cocked this up, haven't I?"

"What the hell did you do, Jim?!" Leonard roared as he stalked over to Jim's chair to loom over the other man, who was too busy belly-laughing to formulate a coherent response.

"I didn't... _bah_...didn't..." Jim paused to wipe a tear from his eye, "Didn't say anything to her...about us being... _hehe_...lovers who make the beast with...two...backs." Jim stuttered out the last words as he hiccuped his way through a hysterical laughing fit, hands held tight over his shaking stomach.

Leonard's face seem to soften just a little, though he still looked like someone replaced his coffee with lemon juice as a surprise, and he continued glaring down at Jim with slightly less vitriol than before.

Jim managed to compose himself, and with watery eyes and a red face asked, "So that's what you meant a little while ago. You wanted to tell me that you weren't trying to move in on my territory?" Carol had to give Jim credit that he managed to hold back a giggle until the word 'territory.'

"Well, yes, that was my intention." Carol admitted, then started up, "So you two really never - you're not involved?"

Jim and Leonard paused and turned to look at eachother, having some silent conversation with their eyes. Leonard started shaking his head frantically, mouthing 'No, no, no' but Jim grinned widely and turned to Carol as he said, "Well, we did make out in our second year at the Academy. But that was because we were dared to do it, so, not really legitimate."

Leonard sputtered, "It was a bet, you idiot." He looked at Carol with the expression of someone long-suffering, "We had this friend, Gary Mitchell, who bet us Fifty credits that we wouldn't kiss in front of this stupid crowded bar. Before I even had a chance to refuse, which I would have, this bastard over here," He juts a thumb in Jim's direction, "grabs me by the face and sticks his fucking wet tongue down my throat. It was awful. No amount of mouthwash could've made me feel clean again."

Jim frowned, "Damn, Bones, that's harsh. I gave it to you good and you know it."

Leonard guffawed, "The only redeeming thing was that you had the decency to give me thirty of the fifty credits. I still think I should've gotten a bigger cut of it since I'm the one who got violated, you son of a bitch!"

Jim sighed and looked directly at Carol, "I love Bones with every bone in my body, but I definitely don't wanna put a bone in his body. That'd be like doing my brother, you know what I mean?"

Carol stared at them.

These were two men who were definitely not fucking.

Jim smirked at Leonard, "Besides, I'd never try to cheat on Bones. He knows far too many ways to kill me in my sleep and make it look like an embarrassing accident."

Leonard hummed in agreement, "I told you. Hypo directly to your cock, you'd never see it coming. Go ahead and test me, kid, just test me."

Well this has been an enlightening day for Carol. Now there was just one last matter weighing on her mind.

"Doctor McCoy?" She asked, "What did you mean earlier when you said that you two had a deal?"

Leonard froze.

Jim froze.

Carol frowned.

Jim chucked weakly, "Well, ya see, Bones here may have at one point had a tiny crush on you."

"Dammit, Jim!"

"Shut up. Anyway, so Bones had a teeny tiny crush on you, and I thought maybe you liked him. So he made some of us guys, me, Scotty, and Sulu, promise not to hit on you, which is a promise I've been doing a damn good job of keeping, haven't I?" Jim said as he looked pointedly at the dark-haired Physician, who hesitantly and grudgingly nodded in agreement. "But then tonight, Doctor Marcus, you come to me saying that you're not into him. So I thought, hell, give it a shot."

Carol took a moment to consider all of this, "So you two made a deal about me? Without me knowing or agreeing to it? You agree to designate me to someone without me having any choice in it?"

Jim frowned, "Well when you say it like that it makes us sound like assholes."

Leonard glared and him and smacked his shoulder, "It does make us assholes, you infant."

He turned to Carol, "I want to apologize, Doctor, truly, both for my idiot friend and my idiot self. It was a stupid, juvenile thing and I'm sorry."

Jim nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

Carol had always had a good sense for when someone was being genuine, and Leonard McCoy was currently looking like the very picture of Southern contriteness. It was adorable.

"It's forgiven, Doctor McCoy. Though if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone now," She says as she takes a seat and pulls out a PADD from her bag.

"Yes, Ma'am." Leonard answered quickly before turning around, giving Jim a look, and exiting the Rec room, leaving Jim and Carol alone.

The two stayed in silence for a minute, one standing awkwardly and the other working diligently. Finally Jim broke.

"Look, Lieutenant Marcus. The stupid thing was my idea, Okay? I egged him on. It's my fault. Don't hold it against him, please."

Carol smiled at him, "I know, Captain. I apologize as well for tearing into you earlier. It turns out you were not asking me to help you cheat on your boyfriend." She smirked and shook her head in disbelief.

Jim smiled back at her but a part of him remained serious, "Honestly though, Carol. If you do feel anything for him - And only if - I know he does like you. Like, a lot." Jim grinned fondly, "He's the best person I know. Hands down, the best. If you've got him, you've got his loyalty and his heart. So just...if you do decide to go for him, just make sure you're not gonna burn him, 'cause he's been burned in the past by a woman who wasn't serious about it, and it fucked him over bad, Okay?"

Carol was taken aback by Jim's words. Suddenly she realized with total clarity how she misread the relationship between Kirk and McCoy. There was a love there, deeply so, the kind between Brothers and comrades and people who needed each other. It was different than romantic love, but no less valuable, powerful, and cherished.

"Alright, Captain Kirk." She nodded at him. "I'll keep in mind everything you said. For the record, I am fond of Doctor McCoy. Very much so. I'll do my utmost to treat him well. You have word on that. Understood, Sir?"

Jim nodded back at her, "Understood, Lieutenant."

* * *

 Jim found Leonard in the observation deck. He took a moment to appreciate the fact that Leonard was even willing to step foot in the observation area - such a long way to come from drunkenly vomiting in a shuttle.

Jim settled down into the chair next to the doctor.

"So why do all these people always think we're a gay couple? This isn't the first time, Bones, and I doubt it'll be the last." He asked, baffled.

"Well, you are a little butch. Maybe people think you're overcompensating for something." Leonard teased with a sardonic quirk on his lips.

"Please. I am not too butch - I am appropriately butch, ok. And even if I wasn't, so what. Real men cry, Bones. They cry hard." Jim said vehemently, fist shaking in the air.

Leonard chuckled and shook his head as the two fell into a companionable silence, watching the stars zip by in white lines on a black background as the Enterprise sped through space at warp speed.

“So do you really like her?” Jim asked.

Leonard stared at the floor, jaw clenching as he considered the loaded question.

Finally, he answered, “Yeah, I do.”

“Okay, Bones." Jim said, “Anyway, I think she likes you, too. A little birdy told me so.” Jim grinned as he leaned over to bump Leonard roughly with his shoulder. Leonard tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t fight his own grin for long.

“You think?”

“Yeah man, she totally digs you. Maybe she wants to play Doctor, yeah, yeah?" Jim said with a wink and an exaggerated eyebrow waggle.

Leonard bared his teeth in a mix of a growl and a grin, "We are not having this discussion, you little pervert."

"Fine, whatever. Just be good to her Bones. She's had a shitty time of it and she could use someone who doesn't suck, and you're that guy." Jim told him with an encouraging clap on his arm.

"I'll be damned, Jim, that's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me." Leonard answered back in mock-awe.

Jim shook his head in exasperation and shooed Leonard out of the observation area, "Just go find her, you bastard."

Leonard levered himself up out of the chair, pausing to put a hand on Jim's shoulder and squeezing lightly in silent gratitude.

"She's good, Bones. You're good, too. Now go be good together." Jim said with a warm smile, the one that only seemed to come out in the very rare moments where he's sincerely open.

"Thanks, kid." Leonard said before he started to walk over to the exit door. When he reached it, he paused and turned back to the window, "...You know you're a good man too, Jim, right?"

Jim didn't turn around but Leonard could see him nod, "Sure, Bones." Followed by a heavy silence that Leonard didn't have the words to fill. Jim saved him by saying, "Come on now, She's not gonna wait forever. Don't pass up a chance."

"I'm goin', kid, I'm goin'." Leonard turned again to regard Jim's back, "You and me are still on for poker tomorrow, right? Can't let Chekov hustle us again, now that we know he's actually a damn snake."

That finally did get Jim to swivel around to look at him with a lopsided smile, "Wouldn't miss it for the world, Bones."


End file.
